Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
