Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
