I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
