I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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