I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
