Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
