pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize