she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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