one two three fourrrrnication!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
