She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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