As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
