She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
