FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
