Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
