He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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