You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
