you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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