I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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