omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
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