'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I believe in your delicious
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
