Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
