Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
