Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
