there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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