Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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