do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
