Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
