It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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