dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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