you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You were trust falling into bushes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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