Me too!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
