As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
that is very illegal...i love you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
