dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
