just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
