The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
