You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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