i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we're making bets on your personal life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
