a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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