was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
