We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
