dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
