Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
