I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
