ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize