speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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