moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
