Can Purell be used as lube?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
