I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
