Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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