i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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